How Milk (And Other Drinks) Can Prevent Your Child From Overcoming Picky Eating
I love sipping coffee slowly through the morning or making a big cup of tea with milk last all afternoon.
I also feel like a big hypocrite when I tell my little honey, as she gets down from the table, to take her last drink from her cup of milk before it goes away.
And then I take it, and it doesn’t come back until her next meal or snack time.
And yes, I feel like an even bigger meanie at times when she asks for a sip of the bevvie I’m carrying around, and I tell her she can have water instead.
So, why do I do it?
Because as a feeding therapist, I have learned that it matters.
It matters when kids drink milk, PediaSure, or juice outside of mealtimes, because it can take the edge off of their hunger. For some, these drinks between meals can even become a meal replacement.
And when you have a picky eater who sometimes shows little interest in eating, this is a big problem. When kids aren’t hearing their hunger signals, they eat less.
This can also be a big problem if you have a picky eater who’s typically willing to eat their familiar favorites but are resistant to trying something different. It’s tough to get kids to try new foods. It’s really tough to get kids to try new foods when they’re not hungry.
So, what’s a feeding therapist’s crucial secret for overcoming picky eating: Limit drinks (except water) to mealtimes.
…but easier said than done, right? Limiting drinks might make you feel nervous or worried that your kiddo isn’t getting enough. Limiting drinks might also instigate tantrums. So, today, I have 5 steps to help you work towards this change – and the first one, is to consider your mindset around it.
5 Steps to Limit Drinks (Except Water) to Mealtimes:
1) Examine your mindset.
If you’re frequently worried that your child is not getting enough at meals and snacks, limiting their intake between meals or saying “no” to any calorie that they show interest in, any time of day, can feel impossible. I empathize with that. This might also sound really counter-intuitive! If you’re trying to get your child to eat more, then why, at any time, would you limit foods or drinks? Yep, I hear that too.
Here’s the explanation: When your sweet honey is drinking that extra milk or what-have-you between meals, they are getting nutrients. Those nutrients are filling up their body (even if only a little) and diminishing their hunger signals. In other words, their sabotaging their next meal. Later, when they get to the table, if they don’t see something that really strikes their fancy, it’s going to be easier for them to decline. They might ask for something more preferred – forcing you to be a short order cook – or simply wait and ask for a favorite snack later in the day (taking the edge of their hunger for their next scheduled meal or snack too). This leads to a vicious cycle that’s hard to break.
So, the next time the gremlins sneak up on you, and you’re thinking that you need to honor any requests for food or drink – at any time – to ensure your child gets enough, please remember this: A seriously effective way to improve your kiddo’s interest in eating is to bring them to the table feeling hungry and ready to eat. Also, keep in mind that those drinks we are pulling back from between meals are going to be offered at mealtimes when your kiddo is hungry. So, ultimately, you aren’t offering a net total of “less,” you are just moving “when.”
2) Talk with your pediatrician and/or dietician about the change you would like to make.
You’ve heard me say it before, and I’ll definitely say it again: Before making changes to your child’s diet, get with your child’s feeding team. This is extra important when we are talking about making some serious shifts in when your child might be getting their calories for three reasons:
While we want to help your kiddo to feel hungry at mealtimes, we don’t want them to be too hungry. A dietician is an awesome ally to make sure your child is getting that Goldilocks “just right” feeling before meals.
You will want monitoring from a health professional while you make changes to ensure your child is getting enough of what they need during mealtimes to grow and feel good.
Extra eyes on the situation (and your child’s weight) can also go a long way to ease your mind if you struggle with the idea of setting limits when your child asks for something to eat or drink.
3) Create or use a visual schedule to help your child understand when they can have their favorite drink.
If your kiddo is used to having their cup with them all day, or at least after mealtimes, this can seem like a big change to their routine – and one that they may need some time to adjust to. It can be helpful to use a visual schedule to help them navigate this change. Since I'm recommending one, here is a free visual schedule that’s all ready to go. It has a mealtime picture you can use to show them when their drink will be available, then, some other typical activities you can schedule between meals to help them track how long or what activities will occur before they can have their fave bevvie again.
Having some positive words to accompany your schedule always helps when you’re explaining new things to your kiddo, so, here are some suggestions for that:
Mommy wants to help your tummy feel hungry for lunch time, so, after morning snack, we are going to put your sippy cup in the fridge. While your sippy cup waits in the fridge, you are free to have water, AND there are lots of fun things we are going to do.
Then, show them the schedule with the couple of activities you have planned for the time between now and lunch, and get started with those activities! Expectations and distractions are your keys to success.
4) Dilute their drink with water.
Slowly. Over time. If your kiddo is drinking juice, Gatorade or other flavored drinks between meals, they might need some help with slowly backing off of these, rather than going cold turkey. If that’s the case, try diluting their bevvie with just a teensy bit of water. Say, an ounce or less. As your child adjusts, up the ratio of water in their drink. Continue to replace the drink with 1 or fewer ounces of water at a time.
As you dilute your child’s drink, keep that honey in the loop. If you make a change to their drink and they detect it, they could lose trust in it and start refusing it at mealtimes when you want them to drink it. So, let them know when you make this change. You can keep your explanation super simple – Honey, Momma made your drink different today. I want to help your body get used to something new.
5) Offer water.
We are trying to limit drinks between meals – but not all drinks! We still want to keep ‘em hydrated. The key here is to prevent your child from getting calories that can fill them up, so, continue to offer water. You can even have a cup of water ready to go at mealtimes that your child can leave the table with if that’s their jam.
Goodbye, Mr. Milk. Hello, Mrs. Water.
Just be mindful that your honey isn’t glugging all of their water immediately before a meal or snack as that can curb appetite too.
Limiting drinks between mealtimes is a practice that can take some time to transition into. If your thinking about making this change for your honey, remember these 5 steps:
1) Examine your mindset; setting boundaries around drinks might be a leap and a little scary at first
2) Include your child’s feeding therapy team to make sure your plan is safe and effective
3) Use visual schedules to support your kiddo with making the change to their routine
4) Slooooowly dilute their bevvie with water for a not-so cold turkey approach
5) Keep offering water to keep your honey hydrated
Related Resources Around the Web:
Risks of Toddlers Drinking Too Much Milk
This is not medical advice and is provided for educational purposes. As I describe here, a thorough assessment by a team of professionals before making mealtime changes is best practice.
