Back To School Lunch Ideas For Picky Eaters

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Some picky eaters with autism struggle to eat well at school.

Maybe their favorites don’t taste just right after being in their lunch box.

Maybe they don’t get enough time to eat.

Maybe they’re distracted by the other kids in the cafeteria.

Whatever the reasons, and it’s often a combination of factors, sometimes, the lunchbox comes home looking just the same as when you sent it. Untouched.

When kids go the whole school day without eating, there can be a tailspin of impacts. They might be crankier or less tolerant. They can lose focus and struggle to do schoolwork. They might be more emotional or fatigued. When they do get home, they might feel ravenous… or, they might be so used to ignoring their hunger that they go on doing just that.

So, with back to school right around the corner, I’m tackling the step-by-step game plan for getting your kiddo’s school meals off to a great start.

1)    Learn about your child’s school lunch and snack offerings. In most cases, you can get a monthly menu of what’s served in the cafeteria. Some schools allow families to choose to send a lunch but still purchase a cold beverage through their lunch program. Use this info to determine whether your kiddo will eat what’s offered at school, or whether you will send a lunch.

Because school snack and lunch offerings typically include only 1 or 2 choices for kids, I find that many picky eaters benefit from a packed lunch and snack. This allows you to send your honey off to school with foods you know they like – thereby increasing the likelihood (though not guaranteeing) that they will eat during the school day.

2)    Get clear on your child’s current food list. What foods does your child eat most of the time, some of the time, and on rare occasions? This will allow you to communicate clearly what your child eats, as needed, to their teacher, school nurse, or other support staff. It will also help you make decisions on what to stock up on for lunches if you will be sending a lunch to school. I have all the tools and strategies to create your child with autism’s food list right here.

3)    Once you’ve got your food list created, plan to buy and send only foods from their list of favorites. I know that you really want your honey to eat nutritious foods at school, I want that too!, but if your child doesn’t always accept eggplant at home, it’s even less likely they will accept it 1) in a new environment 2) when they are distracted by many other eating children and 3) have limited time to eat. Send what’s most in their comfort zone. If you find they are very successful, then you can totally branch out and throw in some wild hairs in the future!

4)    Consider the foods on your child’s favorites list and what you would need to get these foods to school in such a way that they will taste good come mealtime. For example, if your child only eats noodles when they are hot, can you heat them in the morning and send them in a thermos of some sort? If you need to send their milk, how can you keep it cold?

 5)    Next, think about utensils and food packaging. If your child needs an adaptive spoon or fork, make sure it fits into the lunchbox. Does your child have the skills required to open the containers you are sending? If not, will someone be available to help? If the mini bag of goldfish are too hard for your honey to open, can you send them in a Velcro-close pouch that’s easier for them to manage or pack their goodies up bento-style so no opening is required?

Thinking through all of these details in advance will make the morning before school way less stressful.

6)    List the things you do at home to make meals successful. Maybe you give your kiddo an entire 30 minutes to eat all meals. Maybe you sit with your kiddo and provide little reminders or modeling that keeps the meal on track and low stress. (I have lots of tips for that here.) Maybe your kiddo is used to a special item at the table or to hearing some fave tunes while they eat.

When your child transitions to school, they may stretch and grow in beautiful ways that cause them to require less support. These things you do at home, may not be needed at school. You may also learn that those things you do at home are still necessary-and are necessary at school. If that’s the case, having a list handy with information around what you know is helpful at home, can go a long way in helping you problem-solve with the school team to make those meals more like meals at home.

7) Communicate with your child’s teacher early on. Depending upon your district’s schedule and routines, it can sometimes be hard to connect with teachers before the first day of school, so, reach out as early as you can to request a touchpoint to check-in on how meals are going for your kiddo soon after school begins.

8)    Many kids with feeding challenges that I work with require extra support at school in order to have successful meals there. In these cases, a 504 plan is put into place. A 504 plan is designed for kids with a medical need for accommodations. A diagnosed feeding challenge meets this requirement. So… 

If your honey needs more time to eat meals

If they need a quiet place to sit

If they need an adult nearby to provide support

If they need an extra snack time to get through the day

If they need a special tool, comfort item, or toy to support their eating….

These things can happen.

If you’d like to get a 504 plan in place for your child, I recommend working with your feeding team or pediatrician to prepare a letter for your child’s school that includes your child’s diagnosis and specific recommendations for your child’s meals.

Sometimes, families that I work with feel hesitant about requesting accommodations for their child’s meals. They worry that their child might feel singled out or miss out on time with peers. If you’re feeling this way, keep in mind that no accommodation needs to be permanent. This could be a trial to see if your child has better school days with mealtime help, or it could be a short-term bridge until your honey is more independent.

If you’re comfortable, share your concerns with your child’s school team to see if there are creative solutions that can make the accommodations feel like a good fit for your honey. For example, I’ve seen schools opt to have a child choose a buddy to go to his supported lunch so he wouldn’t miss out on peer interactions. In another case, I saw a student given time to drink their milk and eat their crackers in the cafeteria with friends, then finish the rest of their meal (the harder parts of the meal) with the school nurse. Overtime, the kiddo was able to eat more and more foods in the cafeteria and spend less time with the nurse. When everyone puts their heads together, some great ideas can be generated.

There you have it! Eight steps to starting the school year off right for your picky eater. Mealtimes might be tough for your kiddo, but with a solid game plan, hopefully, you will tackle this fall with a little bit more peace of mind.

This is not medical advice and is provided for educational purposes. As I describe here, a thorough assessment by a team of professionals before making mealtime changes is best practice.