1-Step to Improve Picky Eating Right Now

Kids with autism like routine. 

Maybe your kiddo needs their toast cut at a certain angle in order for them to accept it. 

Maybe they have to sit in a certain chair when they eat. 

Or maybe they only eat their hot dog if it’s a particular brand. 

However your child expresses it, keeping things consistent and predictable might be extremely important to your child with autism. 

The one-step that can immediately help your kiddo to stay flexible at mealtimes: Rotate their plate or their bowl as often as possible.

The one-step that immediately helps your kiddo with autism’s rigidity

Rotating your child’s plate, bowl or cup might look like rotating through a set of the same plates with different colors. 

It might look like changing up the backdrop of your child’s bowl from Thomas the Train to Peppa Pig and back again.

Best of all, it might look like a complete mash-up of options with varying size, color, material and shape.

Whatever you have on hand, the point is to prevent your child from getting into a routine of ONLY using red bowls and plates or ONLY eating cereal when it comes from the Thomas bowl. 

What if I like giving my child the choice?

So, you might be thinking, but what about choices? Isn’t it good to give my child a choice of what bowl or plate they use? 

Then answer is yes; however, if having a choice means that your child is always choosing the same plate, then, I recommend that you up your choice game. You can do this by offering a choice of 2 options that you have pre-selected. Sometimes, you can include your child’s favorite in the options you present, and sometimes you can exclude their favorite, but still provide a choice. If your child refuses to make a selection when their favorite isn’t offered, you can simply say, “Momma will pick for you.” Quickly make your choice and move on.

What about cups? Should I change those too?

Changing up cups is where things can get a little trickier because I know kids with autism and picky eating, and sometimes being choosy about a cup isn’t just about the cup. Sometimes there can also be some underlying skill issues. For example, maybe your child’s favorite cup is the exact sippy cup you introduced when you first transitioned away from bottle-feeding. And further, maybe your child hasn’t accepted any other cup since. If this is you, then changing up cups is going to require some assessment and support from your feeding therapy team.

If this is not you, and your child just really likes the red cup the best, then yes, by all means, start switching it up! Tall cups, short cups, skinny cups, straw cups, open cups…., offer whatever you can find in the recesses of your cabinets to keep that kiddo flexible!

What’s wrong with having routines?

Maybe you are reading this and feeling that if you can make your child happy by doing something as simple as giving them their favorite plate, then you just want to continue doing that. I can totally respect that. Your child with autism may already have to face more challenges in a regular day than other typically developing children.

Still, the problem with having these rigid routines, over time, is that they can make us feel backed into a corner. For example, if you don’t have your child’s favorite plate at grandma’s and they become upset or refuse to eat, then you’re going to have to start traveling with that plate. And if you lose that plate, or it breaks, you’re going to have an even bigger problem. For these reasons, it’s important to keep your child with autism’s rigidity at bay and to support them with being used to variety at mealtimes - even if that doesn’t come in the form of food variety. 

What if my child already refuses foods or meals when I change their plate, bowl or cup?

If you are already in a situation in which your child with autism refuses to eat when you offer their meal on a new or different plate, then first, I hope that you know from reading this post that you are not alone. Given that kids with autism have a propensity for sameness, this is very common, and it’s not your fault. 

Second, you might think about the features of the bowl or plate that your child loves and try to offer other ones that have those same features. For example, if your child’s favorite plate is red, can you offer other brands of red plates? If so, this is a great place to start with encouraging more flexibility back in. 

Other features to consider beyond color are favorite characters on the plate, plate dividers, the shape of the plate and material (e.g., melamine, bamboo or silicone). 

Lastly, if your child has a behavioral provider on their feeding team, or receives ABA therapy from a behavioral provider, this is someone with relevant expertise that you can involve to support your child with increasing flexibility in or outside of mealtimes. 

Rotating your child’s plates and bowls is one step you can take today to reduce your child with autism’s rigidity at mealtimes. Offer a variety of different colors, shapes, materials and styles of plates to put this strategy into action. Your child with autism will stay just a smidge more nimble, and you can stay confident that the dinnerware at auntie’s house will be just as appetizing to your child as the ones at home.